


Midnight Dances

by coffeebean87



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: #BuckyNat Week 2015 Mini Bang, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3572063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeebean87/pseuds/coffeebean87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Natasha both wake up in the middle of the night after having nightmares.   Each of them decides to go down to the Avengers’ lounge to dance for a while, in an effort to feel better and maybe bring back some happy memories.   Bucky goes down to the lounge first.   He puts on a swing record and dances with himself, first remembering going to dances in Brooklyn, then remembering a day when he taught Natasha to swing dance while they were working for the Red Room.   Natasha arrives later, wanting to practice some dance moves to cope with a nightmare she had.   She meets Bucky in the lounge, and, after a brief talk about their dreams, they share a dance to Sinatra’s “Time After Time.”   The next morning, they resolve to share a dance in the lounge at the end of each week to celebrate getting through another week of mission and to have a small chance to be normal.   It is implied at the end that they continue with this practice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Dances

It was a winter night in New York City.   In Stark Tower, home of the Avengers, a man tried to sleep with incredible unease.   As he slept, visions paraded through his mind.   He dreamed of a young man falling from a moving train, scientists engulfed in white coats and white light grafting a metal arm onto this same man’s shoulder, the man pointing a gun towards the faces of countless people and the people pleading for mercy, and the man shooting through a beautiful red-haired woman to reach his designated target.

Moments later, James “Bucky” Barnes woke up shaking, in a cold sweat, and trying his hardest not to scream. He sat up in bed and sighed.   This was the third time this week that he had a nightmare about his days as the dreaded Winter Soldier.   Bucky knew that there were many more nights where he had dreamed about that horrid chapter of his life that he wanted so desperately to put behind him, but he had decided early on that, each week, he would only focus on the number of nightmares that he had that specific week.   That helped because he noticed that there were some weeks that were better than others.   He wondered how he might make it so that this week did not turn out to be a bad week.

Bucky tried to think back to when his last good week had been.   It did not help much when he recalled that most of his good weeks had been during the summer months.   Bucky suspected that the cold of winter only made whatever memories he had of being the Winter Soldier all the more powerful. Knowing that he could not change the seasons, he tried to think of another way to keep the nightmares at bay.

Then it hit him.   Bucky also tended to have fewer nightmares around the times when his happier memories resurfaced.   The last time he had a good week was when he remembered that infamous trip to Coney Island, and Steve had thrown up on the Cyclone.   Realizing this, Bucky wondered what other happy memories he could possibly try to resurface.   He recalled that during the months when he was trying to evade HYDRA and the Avengers and figure out who he was, visions of himself dancing with various women surfaced in his mind.   Later, after Natasha, Steve, and Sam found him and brought him in, Steve confirmed that Bucky used to love dancing in their Brooklyn days. Knowing this, Bucky decided that he would go down two flights of stairs to the team’s living room and attempt to resurface some of those memories.

Bucky got out of bed, slipped on a bathrobe, and cracked open his bedroom door to ensure that no one else from the team was awake.   Seeing that there was no one in the hallway, Bucky opened the door and crept out of his room.   He tried to make his way down the hall and down the stairs as quietly as possible.   Bucky was grateful for his teammates and for the support they provided him, but that did not mean that he sometimes felt like a burden to them.   He knew that if they found him awake and out of bed at this time of night, they would have no trouble trying to help him, but he would feel guilty taking sleep time away from them.

About five minutes later, Bucky made it downstairs to the living room.   He switched on a lamp to help himself find what he was looking for.   In the corner of the room, beside a record player, was a box of some of Steve’s vinyl records.   Although some of these records did have music from the 1950s onward, most of them played songs from the 1940s.   Bucky had to admit that although he had been listening to some newer music since his friends brought him in, and that he had found some new songs and groups that he genuinely liked, he would always prefer the music from his own era. After flipping through the records for a couple of minutes, he finally settled on a record that played several classic swing songs.

He opened the record player and placed the vinyl on the turntable.   Bucky then set the record moving and decided that he would simply let the record play through.   He knew all the songs, and no particular one was his favorite.

As the first familiar song began its tune, Bucky closed his eyes and began to dance, trying to picture himself in a crowded dance hall in Brooklyn.   It was all there in a matter of moments.   He saw the jazz band playing the familiar song, the people at the end of the hall sipping on their cocktails, and dozens of young men swing dancing with gorgeous women.   Bucky also envisioned himself dancing with a couple of nice-looking women.   The first was a brunette with long curly hair and large brown eyes.   The second was a blond with curly bangs and luscious red lips. As he continued to envision all of this, he sighed.   So this had been what his life had been like before he fell.   He had been so happy and carefree.   If only there was a way that he could return to all of that.

Moments later, though, for some reason he could not explain, the scene began to change.   Now, instead of being in a crowded dance hall, he was in an empty ballet studio.   Through a frosted window, he could see that it was snowing outside.   This was in contrast to his memory of the dance hall, where it had been the middle of the summer.   About ten seconds later, a woman dressed in a leotard and ballet slippers entered the room.   Her shiny red hair was twisted into bun atop her head.   She approached the Soldier and said to him in Russian, “Comrade Karpov said that you wanted to train me in various dances to assist with my undercover work, Soldier.   I am ready to begin.”   “As am I,” the Soldier responded in a quiet voice. “I shall teach you everything I know. We shall begin with a simple swing dance.”

The Soldier put on a record that played a selection of swing dances.   He put his arms around the ballerina and together they began their dance.   He softly instructed her in how to perfect her moves, and she followed his instructions meticulously.   The two danced for what seemed like a long time, and it came to a point where the Soldier would dip the ballerina.   As he did this, he gazed into her green eyes.   He did not believe that he had seen a more beautiful pair of eyes in his life.   As the Soldier gazed into the ballerina’s stunning green eyes, he thought he could feel his lips moving into a smile.   That was unusual, since the Soldier rarely smiled or had any reason to be happy.   But, here, at this moment, he knew that he was happy.   Back in Stark Tower, Bucky Barnes smiled as this memory of a bright spot from his years of captivity became clear in his mind.

At the same time, just two floors above in Stark Tower, a woman tried to sleep with incredible unease.   As she attempted to sleep, horrific visions paraded through her mind.   She saw a house engulfed in flames, men strapping a young red haired girl to an operating table, the young girl being injected with various fluids, and the girl shooting various victims as they pleaded for mercy.

Natalia “Natasha” Romanova woke up shaking, in a cold sweat, and attempting not to scream.   She sighed.   Ever since she, Steve, Sam, and Nick had exposed HYDRA’s infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D., and she had been forced to expose her secrets for all the world to see, her nightmares of her days in the Red Room had become all the more frequent.   They had also grown progressively worse.   Natasha wondered what she might do to keep the nightmares at bay.

She first tried to simply lay back down and go back to sleep.   This was difficult because, being the Black Widow, Natasha had many bad memories, memories that kept her awake at night.   It seemed that her life truly was a life of nothing more than trials and tribulations.   She mostly tried to keep it hidden under a cool and collected exterior.   However, that did not mean that it was always easy.

Then it dawned on Natasha.   One thing that had given Natasha solace in her time as an agent of the Red Room was her ability to dance.   She knew that her handlers had implemented a false memory of her once being a Bolshoi ballerina, but that did not cause her love of dancing to diminish.   With this in mind, Natasha decided to head downstairs to the living room and to practice some of her moves.

She cracked open her bedroom door to ensure that none of her teammates were awake.   Seeing no one in the hall, she crept out of her room and into the stairwell.   Natasha noted how she had managed to sneak downstairs without alerting the rest of the team.   Learning how to sneak in and out of places unnoticed had been a substantial part of her training.   It served her well tonight, seeing as she did not want to disturb any of her teammates’ sleep.

By the time Natasha got downstairs, she heard what sounded like 1940s swing music coming from the living room.   As she entered the hall, she could see that a lamp was turned on in the lounge.   Seeing this, Natasha’s protective instincts were immediately sent into high gear.   Who on earth would be in the Avengers’ living room at this time of night?   And what were they doing listening to 1940s music?

Then it dawned on her.   “James,” Natasha thought to herself.   Had he had another nightmare?   Natasha knew that normally when Bucky had a nightmare, she would hear the ear-piercing sound of his screams coming from his room.   Most of the time, it would take either her, Sam, Steve, or all three of them to calm Bucky down as he came out of his dreams.   Going down to the living room and listening to old music was not something he had ever done before.

“Perhaps he is trying to find another way to cope with his nightmares,” Natasha thought to herself.   “Maybe I should peer inside and see if he is alright.”   Natasha crept over to the lounge’s doorway and peered inside.   Inside the room, she could see that Bucky was dancing with an imaginary partner.   Natasha had to keep herself from giggling.   She remembered that shortly after she, Steve, and Sam had brought Bucky in, Bucky had talked about memories of his going to dance halls in Brooklyn coming back to him.   He was likely trying to bring more of those memories back.   “Still, he looks so silly in there dancing with himself,” Natasha thought to herself.   “I shall let him know that I am here.”

With that, Natasha cracked the door open slowly and cleared her throat.   Bucky immediately stopped dancing and stared at her with wide eyes.   “I’m sorry Natalia, did I wake you up?” he said in a startled voice.   “No,” Natasha replied.   “I was having trouble sleeping anyway.”    “I see,” James said.   His eyes then creased and he said in a rather matter-of-fact voice, “You had a nightmare, didn’t you?”   Natasha thought for a moment and replied, “As a matter of fact I did, James.   When your ledger is as red as mine, a good night’s sleep is rather difficult to come by.”   “You do not need to tell me twice,” James responded.   “I suppose that means you had one too,” Natasha replied.   Bucky nodded.

He then proceeded to turn off the record and to take a seat on the couch.   “Would you like to tell me about it?” he asked.   Natasha sat down next to him and replied, “Oh it was nothing significant.  It was just the usual memories of what I did and everything that happened to me before I was brought in.”  “I see,” said James.   “That sums up my dream for tonight as well.   I think we can both agree that for us, a good night’s sleep is a distant memory.   I have never thought once that everything I did as the Soldier will ever leave me.”

Natasha smiled sadly.   “I know how that feels.   So what brought you to come down here and dance with yourself?”   Bucky thought for a moment and said, “After my nightmare tonight, I remembered that whenever a happy memory comes back to me, I have fewer nightmares for a while.   I knew that I used to love dancing before the war.   I thought that if I listened to some of the songs I used to dance to, some of those memories might return.”   “I see,” said Natasha.   “That’s me as well.   I know my handlers implemented a false memory into my mind that made me believe that I worked as a Bolshoi ballerina.   After my nightmare, I thought I would come down here and practice some moves.   I thought it would soothe my nerves.”

Bucky looked puzzled and said, “And you still enjoy dancing, even when it was a part of your life in the Red Room?” Natasha replied, “I do.   They may have implemented that memory in my mind, but it did not cause me to love dancing any less.  I took something of theirs, made it my own, and used it for good.”   Bucky nodded at her response.   “You know, Natalia, as you were walking in, I was remembering the first day I taught you to swing dance in Moscow.  You were quite wonderful on your feet.   Are you still as good as you were back then?”   “Is this a request for a dance?” asked Natasha.   “You can call it whatever you wish,” said Bucky.

 

Natasha turned the record player back on and immediately the swing music began again.   Bucky led the way in a classic swing dance, and Natasha seemed quite the natural.   As he whispered the moves into her ear, she mastered them precisely.   Soon, it was time for Bucky to dip Natasha.   As he dipped her, he gazed into her green eyes.   He could feel his lips forming into a smile.   He could also feel a tear welling up in his eyes.   Natasha noticed his glassy eyes and asked, “What is it James?”   “Oh, it’s nothing,” he said in a soft voice.   “It’s just that this is exactly like it was the day I first taught you.” He pulled her close to him again and whispered into her ear, “I remember everything Natalia, and you were the only good thing in all of it.”   Natasha smiled at those words and replied, I could say the same thing about you James.   You helped me stay human through all of that.”

As they were ending their dance, they could hear that the swing dance record was coming to a close.   Bucky looked at Natasha and said, “I suppose that’s it.   “Would you like to walk you back upstairs to your room?”  “No,” Natasha replied.   “Okay,” said Bucky, sounding a little disappointed.   “I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“James,” Natasha said with a smile, “I do not want you to walk me back upstairs because I am not ready to go up yet.   You asked me to dance, so I would like to return the favor.   I would like to practice a slow dance.   May I have this dance, Soldier?”   Bucky shrugged and said, “It would be my pleasure, Widow.”   “Thank you, Soldier,” Natasha responded.   “And I get to pick the music this time.”

She reached back into the box of records and pulled out a record that appeared to be the soundtrack to a film.   The name of the album, or the film whose soundtrack it was, was _It Happened in Brooklyn_.   Bucky had never heard of that movie.    He then noticed on the album cover that the film had been released in 1947, about three years after he fell.   Realizing this, Bucky began to look quite agitated.   Natasha looked at the year on the album, put her hand on Bucky’s shoulder and said, “James, I know you went through many hardships during your time as the Winter Soldier.   But I do encourage you to give the song I am about to play a chance.   I think it would do you good to hear it.”   Bucky, ever trusting of Natasha, simply nodded his head.

Natasha then placed the record in the record in the record player and selected the song she wanted to play.   As the record began to spin, Bucky put his flesh and bone arm around Natasha’s waist, and took her right hand in his metal hand.   Moments later, the music came on and Frank Sinatra’s soothing voice began singing a song about feeling lucky to be in love and being the one one’s lover runs to see.   Natasha and Bucky danced a slow dance to the song, remembering how their handlers had tried to tear them apart, but they had found each other again.   Their only hope now was that nothing could tear them apart again.   The song continued to evoke words of being lucky to be in love and keeping that love young and new.   At that moment, Bucky and Natasha looked outside.   They could see through the frosted window that it was snowing outside, just as it was the day at the ballet studio.

Bucky smiled and had to keep himself from bursting into tears.   He had many fond memories of going to the dance halls in Brooklyn and dancing with many pretty women there.   However, none of them could ever compare to Natasha.   It was rather ironic, but his memory of dancing with Natasha in the studio at the Red Room was likely his fondest memory of dance.   This night was coming close to outshining that memory.

Natasha became lost in her trail of thoughts as well.   In her life, she too had danced with many men.   Some of them had been the Black Widow’s targets.   Even fewer had been men she genuinely cared for.   However, she knew that none of them could compare to Bucky.   He was one of the few people in this world who genuinely understood her and who she was.   For a woman who had a reputation of being mysterious and incomprehensible to most, having at least someone in her life who genuinely understood her was somewhat of a relief.

It was at that moment that Bucky pulled Natasha into a passionate kiss.   She closed her eyes and kissed him back.   About two minutes later, they pulled apart and gazed into one another’s eyes.   Bucky saw a pair of bright green eyes that gazed adoringly at him, while Natasha saw a pair of bright blue eyes that gazed adoringly at her.  “I think I love you, James Buchanan Barnes,” Natasha whispered.   “I think I love you too, Natalia Romanova,” Bucky whispered back.   Natasha pulled him in for another passionate kiss.   For a while they just stood there in the middle of the room, passionately kissing each other.

In a matter of hours, the sun came up.   Natasha and Bucky had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room.   Natasha opened her eyes and saw that the sun was coming up.   She checked the time on the digital clock on one of the end tables.   The clock read “7:30.”   She realized then that the rest of the team would be waking up now.   Immediately, Natasha leapt off the couch and tapped Bucky on his flesh shoulder.   “James, wake up,” she said.   “We should try to get upstairs for breakfast before the rest of the team finds our rooms empty.”   At these words, Bucky immediately woke up.   The last thing he wanted was for Steve or Sam to find his room empty and become worried about him.

Natasha and Bucky raced up the stairs as fast as they could.   They managed to make it into the breakfast room a mere few seconds before the rest of the team arrived at breakfast.   The team sat down to a breakfast of pancakes with strawberry syrup and whipped cream.   Steve could not help but notice that Bucky and Natasha were all smiles that morning.   He wondered why, since He knew that Bucky at least had had at least two nightmares that week.   He also could have sworn that he heard Natasha screaming in her sleep a couple of nights ago.   Could Bucky and Natasha have not had any nightmares the night before, or could they have found a way to cope with the nightmares?   Steve decided to ask Bucky and Natasha as soon as breakfast was done.

As the team was cleaning the dishes, Steve turned his head toward Bucky and said, “Say, Buck, I could not help but notice how upbeat you and Nat seemed at breakfast this morning.   Not that I’m worried about you, but I know that you had at least two nightmares earlier this week.  Did you have a good night last night?”

Bucky thought for a moment and replied, “As a matter of fact I did.   I ended up sleeping well for once.   That was a nice change.”   Steve offered a small smile and said, “Okay, I’m glad to hear you had a good night.   Just know that I’m here for you if you have any more bad nights.”   As Steve turned to walk away, Bucky suddenly felt compelled to tell him the whole story.   He would never dream of being dishonest with his best friend.   “Wait, Steve,” Bucky called, causing Steve to turn his head and face his best friend again.   “I actually did have another nightmare last night.   I woke up in the middle of the night and went down to the lounge to listen to some of the old music.   You remember how much I used to love dancing before the war.”   “Oh, yes, I remember,” Steve replied.   “You certainly knew how to sweep the girls off their feet.”   “Anyway, I was down in the lounge dancing to some of the old records down there, when Natasha came down as well.   We spent part of the night dancing to some of the old songs.   I think that it helped both of us.”

Steve turned to Natasha and exclaimed, “Wow Natasha!  I didn’t know you could dance.”   Natasha shrugged and said, “Well, I do it on occasion.   I’ll usually do it when I’m stressed or need to get something off my mind.   Like James said, I think it did both of us good to just enjoy a simple dance last night.”   Steve could not help but smile at this.   Perhaps Natasha and Bucky had found a strategy for coping with the nightmares.   “Well, I’m glad to hear that the two of you found a way to cope if you are having trouble sleeping.”   Bucky smiled back and said, “Thanks Steve.   But seriously, if I ever do need to talk about any nightmares I have, I know I can always turn to you.”   Steve put his arm around his best friend and said, “You got it.  I’m with you to the end of the line.”

As Steve walked away, Natasha put her arms around Bucky.  “And I know I can always talk to you, Natalia,” he whispered into her ear.   “So can I,” she responded.   Natasha thought for a moment and said, “James, when I said that I thought our dance last night did us some good, I was being serious.   I really do think it did me some good just to enjoy something like that for once.”

Bucky gave Natasha a kiss on the cheek at those words.   “I know it did me good too.   I know it does me good to have relaxing moments like that.   Trying to atone for my past actions is all well and good, but I think just having a chance to act like a normal person does me good to.”   “I understand that,” Natasha replied.   “Our lives will never be entirely normal, but it is nice to have those little moments where we can act like normal people.”  She put her arms around Bucky and the two of them shared a quick kiss.

As they pulled apart, Bucky asked Natasha, “Do you think we could ever do it again?  I know it helped both of us with our nightmares.   I would love the chance to do it again.”   Natasha looked into his pleading eyes and said, “I feel the same way.   It was helpful.   But, I think we might have to wait and see, James.   We never know what we may encounter on our missions with the team.”   Bucky nodded his head in acknowledgment.   “Yes, with the lives we have, we never know what the next day may bring.   But, perhaps we can find some way to be able to do it again.”   “How might we manage it?” Natasha asked curiously.   “It would not be that difficult.   We could simply arrange it where we meet with one another at the end of each week and share a dance, just to celebrate that we made it through another week,” Bucky proposed.

Natasha thought for a moment.   “Okay, James, we can try it.  At the very least, it will give us each a motivation to make it out of a mission alive.”   Bucky nodded, “Then I guess it’s a deal.   I hope I will be meeting you for a dance next week, Natalia Alianovna Romanova.”   “That’s a promise, James Buchanan Barnes,” Natasha replied.   “And you must promise me that you will not be late.”   “I will not,” Bucky replied back.

As they parted ways, Bucky could not help but smile at himself.   He loved Natasha with all his heart.   He loved how, though she was good at hiding her emotions, she was still filled with compassion and grace.   He loved that she understood and accepted him, and would always be there to listen.   Now the two of them had managed to work in at least one small way to be normal amidst all of the chaos they encountered on.  It filled his mind with peace.   Bucky knew that there were very few times in his life where he could say that he was genuinely happy.   He knew that this moment was one of them.

Natasha was smiling as well.   Bucky truly was coming a long way from where he was when she, Sam, and Steve brought him in.  It was encouraging for her to see that as soon as he got his mind back, he immediately set out to atone for his sins as the Winter Soldier.   It was even more of a comfort for her to know that there was at least someone on Earth who could listen to her and give her the feeling that he truly understood her.   “I may have a reputation of being somewhat mysterious to most people,” Natasha thought to herself, “but perhaps it is nice to have someone who understands once in a while.”  She looked forward to more nights where she and Bucky would dance together again, and have a chance to just be normal.

And those nights did come.   Bucky and Natasha would go on dangerous missions with the rest of the Avengers on almost a weekly basis.   They would encounter HYDRA agents attempting to further the evil organization’s goal of world domination, mercenaries hoping to commit some grand theft or highly publicized assassination for some quick cash, or aliens attempting to lay waste to the Earth.   These missions were often a struggle, and Bucky and Natasha worried for their own safety, each other’s, and that of their teammates.   Yet, somehow, they always managed to make it out of their missions alive and in one piece.   This was something they always felt the need to celebrate.

For that reason, every night near the end of the week, Bucky and Natasha would meet secretly in the Avengers’ lounge to share a dance.  He would teach her more of the swing and jazz dances that he knew.   She would teach him the waltzes and ballroom dances that she had learned over the course of her career as a spy.   They would sometimes reminisce about the old times.   They admitted that though their time in the Red Room was not a time that either of them wanted to go back to, they were grateful that they found each other then.   Their dance dates were also a time where Bucky and Natasha could be reminded that maybe; just maybe, they would have a bright and hopeful future to look forward to.

They had many songs they loved to dance to during their evenings together, but Sinatra’s “Time After Time” would likely always be their favorite.   It told a tale of being lucky to be in love and being the ones each other ran to see when the day was through.   Natasha and Bucky did not think that they could find any other song that was more applicable to their relationship.

But, most important of all, Bucky and Natasha noticed that the longer their dances went on, the fewer sleepless nights they had.   Their friends and teammates noticed this too, and they seemed to accept that whatever Natasha and Bucky were doing, it was doing each of them good.   Natasha was relieved that she now had pleasant dreams of dancing with a smiling, handsome man with dark hair and blue eyes to offset her dreams about her days as a cold, hardened spy and assassin.   Bucky was glad that he now had sweet dreams of dancing with a smiling, beautiful woman with green eyes to offset his dreams of being the cold, calculating Winter Soldier.   Natasha and Bucky’s lives would always be shadowed by the ghosts of their pasts, but they had each other, their friends, and now the nights of dancing to help steer themselves toward a better future.

 

 

 


End file.
